Gather ye and turn your ears to the sermon we’re about to preach. Acceptable mens fashion has seen some egregious sins committed against it over time. Here we are, repeating them, though they come in different forms.
Modern mens fashion is seeing problems that need to be swiftly addressed and repented of. Unfortunately, there are too many to declaim in one sitting, but we’re happy to make this one part of a million part series. Let’s start small.
Oh my god, shoes.
If you’re having a Kelly (if you don’t get this reference, Google it) moment deciding between which shoes rule and which shoes suck, we totally get that. Among streetwear and skate clothing, shoes are a formidable temptation. Where men oft falter is in the assumption that shoes transcend other parts of fashion. No. You cannot wear your beat up Supreme skate shoes with everything. Shoe shop accordingly. If you’re not sure, consult a friend who’s kind enough to correct your wayward thought process when you try to wear your tattered shoes with a suit. For shame.
Sweetie, is that your bag.
If you’re one of the men who still think that the bag game belongs to women, you need to be sternly informed that it’s 2018. Get with the times. That Jansport backpack might’ve gotten you through high school, but it’s not high school anymore. Weekender bags, messenger bags, and Supreme bags are among the legions changing the game for carrying stuff stylishly. Carry your things like an adult and grow up your bag game.
Good lord, where are your legs?
Someone call the legsecutioner for all of the men out there still committing crimes against their quadriceps. Burn those old shorts and let your legs breathe. Shorts are an imperative piece of a man’s wardrobe. Confirmed scientific fact: your thighs need sunlight. Get shorts that fall just above the knee, no longer than that. Fortune favors the bold and we like bold, so our recommendation is, show more thigh than less.
Did you know an unattractive person has a 62.02% chance of being called back for an interview? Aw, we’re not calling you unattractive, but we are saying that fashion is one of the foundations of first impressions. If you’re starting off as a sartorial sinner, read up, repent, and change your ways.